So here it is, my birthday….68 tours around the sun. You know, as I know, it is hard to believe this much time has passed, this much life has been lived. Looking back, I filter it, I find the good times and the times of my life that were interjections (thank you William for that word), the times that were so profound they put me on an alternate, unplanned path. There is not a way I can remember it all, most of it is forgotten actually…strange but true.
Before I started the day, this day, my birthday, I said a bit of a prayer, it was a “conversation” really with my God. I asked to give these days of my life purpose. I tend to ask for that often. I am not auditioning for sainthood (lol) I am just wanting to be purposeful while I am here, while I can. I think quickly of the things I have the ability to do to be purposeful. I can say “good morning” and smile at people I see, people whose name I do not know; I can do that easily. I can go beyond and say something nice to them…beautiful child, cute shoes, something positive to cause a little happiness. I can not be negative and judgmental, instead I can be positive and open minded. I can put sentences together about everyday ordinary thoughts…just as I am doing now. I say this without presumption, for saying it is difficult, but writing is something I just do and, perhaps my simple patchwork of words might hit somewhere in your life, then they become purposeful, not on a huge level but perhaps on a small one…and “it’s the little things” that matter most. We can all do the "little things".
Anyway, I will lead in that direction, the direction of finding purpose. These days I see life as a journey from complete narcissism to complete giving….my little grandson sees himself as the center of the universe; he is there in the middle and his parents are there just for him, as it should be. He will grow up and realize, as we all have done, there are others in this big wide world and they are trying to make their lives also. And then we get to where I am and there is suddenly a lifetime full of unanswered questions set before you…sort of where my little grandson is now, curious and full of questions. But these questions, at this chapter in life, are timeless and have never been answered. And perhaps they never will be… they concern the mysteries of the (universe) human race.
If you are so kind as to wish me a Happy Birthday, “thank you” and know that my “wish” is for a gentler world…xo ps